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The Torah and Life: What We Need to Learn Now

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A weekly report by an Israeli in Berlin - Conversion on the dance floor
By Amit Epstein  |  07/01/2010

Honestly, the time between Christmas and Sylvester is my least favorite. Apart for the 1 of May (and I might elaborate on THAT another time), staying in town for those "holidays" brings out the misanthrope in me. It's not because there's nothing holy about it – as much as I am concerned, anything that encourages shopping is uplifting – it's about the few extreme situations it creates. For me, at least…The fact is that since I left Israel I rarely celebrate the Jewish holidays – since I am not a part of a community (not to mention the community) organizing an event seems to be too much for me (how did our mothers and grandmothers always did it? Where is that gene?!). I must admit, somehow it's not so bad. Who celebrates Pesach or Rosh Ha'Shana here? Some Jews I don't know and the people who feel obliged to join them. It doesn't make me feel lonely to stay home alone on Chanukah, but when I hear all of my friends get ready to go back to the villages they came from in order to celebrate the birth of Jesus with their families, I want to cry. No, no, no – I do not envy them. I know most of them do not enjoy it (but it frustrates me that there's one Jew whose birthday is celebrated with so much energy and effort, and it's not me…).
 
The confusion starts a few days before; should I congratulate my friends and colleagues? Why? Did any of them remember it was Chanukah just a few days ago?! Should I expect to be congratulated? Can I resist replying with "…and a happy Chanukah to you to…" and just say "thanks"? And what's so happy about it anyway? We all know what that guy did, how he ended up and what a price was paid for that, generations over generations…talk about that to your grandparents, sitting around the table eating sauerkraut or drinking his "blood" in your childhood church…we don't mix blood and cuisine anymore…
 

I gave a chance to a few "Weihnukah" parties (Weihnachten is the German name for Christmas- where the second half of the oxymoron comes from you can guess) but the clash is too big – we talk about light with fire and they about jingle bells, we talk about protest and they of conformism; everyone agrees there has been a miracle but the true miracle is if we'll find a song we all could sing together. Then again, if I refuse to compromise on something like that and stay home, those are the moments I regret not to have celebrated Pesach in April or Rosh Ha'shana in September, even if just for the entertainment without the traditional values – sometimes the songs, the food specialties and the decorations have an effect on its own. Hope I'll keep it in mind for the coming year. By the way 2010, how many years would pass before they understand that, as usual, we are a step a head and our year has started a few months ago? Never mind, after all getting 2 chances for a fresh new start each year is actually a plus, so better not complain (not complain?! I can hear my grandma's sigh of disappointment over seas) but the fact is that all of those people who sat around tables and ate and ate till they dropped dead are now back home full of aggressions (intensive family gathering, what do you expect?) and now their mission is to 1.visit each and every party in the city just in order to leave it and go to a better one, again and again 2.explode more fire works harder and faster then last time. Fun, ha? Regarding nr.1 I guess it's an issue in every metropolis – that feeling that staying in one place necessarily means missing on a better option – but nr.2 I believe is a phenomenon of Berlin: economical individuals literally burn their money into the freezing air, environmental concerned activist create more damage in one night then all of their yearly accomplishments and responsible adults become bullies. Berlin is in a bad flashback to war-time at the beginning of every year and one has to wonder why…

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